McAfee Knob, May 30
Memorial Day. Haven't made any trail entries in four days. How the time flies. But let me back up a bit.
On the 26th, Buzz and I caught dinner in Pearisburg with everyone, then came back to B'burg.
The 27th, did chores, laundry, gear cleaning in the basement, saw friends and colleagues in Davidson, Cheatham and Smyth. Picked up Buzz at his apartment and blew all over town. Had dinner at the Homeplace with Shep, Alan, John G and his lady, Zoli, Mike J, Tim B and Buzz. Great food and chatter. Desperado, Knees, Mariner and another thruhiker were there. Dropped Buzz off at the 311 parking lot so he could be on his way up trail.
Friday, the Fox rolled in - picked Jerry up at Radford Brothers (a local grocery store in town). Did chores, had lunch and left him the 4Runner. Hitched out to trail and slackpacked to the forest road by Mountain Lake. Saturday and Sunday were both blurs, as I slacked alone to 601 and 42/Sinking Creek.
Memorial Day. Good day to be back on trail again with the pack. Real shock to the system. Been sleeping in a real bed for how long now? Getting soft. I spent the a.m. finishing bills and cleaning the room. Repacked the remaining supply boxes Alan is shipping to me up north. Reconfigured menus. Bought $130 wroth of liptons meals and jello at Savfoods. Should have taken a picture of the cashiers eyes when I rolled up to his aisle. He thought I was nuts. Called Drew and Beryl - no ans. Also renewed lease with the girls in McCoy.
With 'other world' chores done, got back down to 42 and headed North. Up Sinking Creek Mtn, a pit stop as Sarvers Cabin (what a pit), and vistas from the rocks. Stopping here at Niday for supper. Vixen of '93 occasionally stops here. In the register, the gang is a day or two ahead of me, so I'll be able to catch up in a week. I am not used to Trail with the pack -- felt weak all day, a little careless with my footfalls and somewhat out of it. Town food? A/C sleeping? A day ago, Mike J and I did some good miles and a bit of trail magic, but it wasn't the same as being on-trail. I miss my companions, the breeze in the trees, the bugs - how the forest talks to me. So I guess B'burg hit harder than expected. I'm torn between leaving Trail and getting back to a career -- to pay bills, to be among my town friends, to have it easy. And yet I know there's stagnation there. I've reviewed my personal life and recent relationships - and accepted if I was hurt, it was of my own choice if I withheld my feelings until it was too late, or to stay with something that could only be poisonous in the end. I blame only my own stubborness. To want to know ALL of the fact of a mistake, rather than to let things go and let the mystery be. Knowing more than one needs to know, particularly in matters of the heart, leads to more pain, to indignities for which I alone are accountable. Knowing the truth of a matter solves nothing. Knowing what not to know, and to know how to not seek it -- that is a form of maturity only earned by the pain, the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, where one discovers that once something is known about another, it cannot be 'un-known' again. Knowledge isn't power. It is pain. It is hardship. It is, properly applied, a tool by which other pain may be avoided, if one has the sense to learn from the past.
'But it's all right now, I've learned my lesson well
You see, you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself'
-R. Nelson
Time to finish dinner -- should I stay or hike on? Maybe an early jump on tomorrow. I may get the shelter to myself.